Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor by Sylvia Ann Hewlett (highlights)


“This is a breakthrough book. Sylvia Ann Hewlett is challenging the entrenched orthodoxy that still prevents women and minority talent from scaling the heights. She argues convincingly that progress is more often a product of partnership than a solo success and tells us exactly how to make it happen. This study assembles hard evidence, compelling stories, and persuasive analysis and is invaluable to anyone who wants to get beyond ‘do-gooding’ to get the most of their diverse talent.”

–Trevor Phillips, former Chair, UK Equality and Human Rights Commission

“A powerful and urgent book. Sylvia Ann Hewlett demonstrates the heft of sponsors and shows how women and people of color can win sponsorship and take their place at decision-making tables. Heterogeneity at the top is not fair, it unleashes creativity and the ‘power of difference.'”

–Cornet West, Professor of Philosophy and Christian Practice,

Union Theological Seminary

Sylvia’s Story

Raised up by a working-class father, in the 1960s in Britain where unemployment rate was at 28 percent, Sylvia went to a third-rate school, in which she had no hope on being admitted into her dream college. However, from her father’s unwitting encouragement, his contagious belief in hard work, she got herself into Oxbridge. While years in her studies at the school, her english professor, Miss Gwen Jones, helped her with her heart and soul in perfecting her writing, which in the got her admitted into Cambridge university.

During her years at Cambridge, she was under the wing of a remarkable economist, Dr. Jean Grove, who chose Sylvia as her research assistant and invited her to accompany her on a research trip to Africa. Then, after she earned her PhD at Harvard and London University, graciously landed a first job as an assistant professor at Girton College, Columbia University where she did extraordinary well and was confident that she will be promoted.

In retrospect, only after when she lost her job did she realized that her hard work only was not enough to support her in climbing the career ladder. She realized that what she lacked was a sponsor, even though she was an expert at friendships and had a lot of mentors who had boosted her confidence during the time. Without a sponsor having her back, she was invincible to the committees of the University, no one knew of her when it comes to offering tenure.

The lost was eye-opening that she set out and searched for what she needed, and that’s when it comes to her that she actually knew someone who could help her out on this front, who was her colleague. She turned up at his office and asked him to help her find a job. AND THAT’S HOW SHE GOT ONE!


“Mentors matter, but they’re not your ticket to the top.”

If you’re interested in fast-tracking your career, in getting that hot assignment, you need sponsors, in particular, you need people who:

  • Believe in you and your potential, and will go out of their way on your behalf
  • Are influential, who would help you get a pay raise or a promotion when you deserve it
  • Will give you air cover so that you can take risk. Making it safe for you to fail.

Mentorship versus Sponsorship

Mentors: Take interest in you because they like you, will listen to your issues offer advice and review which problem-solving can taken or discarded. Mentors expect very little in return. The energy is flowing one way: toward you.

Sponsors: Take interest in you and your career, they see helping you as an investment to further their own career, organization or vision. Would advice and develop you into a leader. In contrast, they expect a great deal from you (excellent performance and loyalty) Your role is to earn their investment in you. Throughout the relationship, you’re delivering outstanding results, building their brand or legacy, and generally make them look good. Sponsorship, done right, is transactional. It ensures you get what you worked for and deserve.

Sponsors can be role models but they don’t have to be.

What’s important in sponsorship is trust, not inspiration. You don’t have to like or want to be like your sponsor. In sponsorship, each party gains from helping each other.

With that in mind, supporters are not to be kicked to the curb either. Role models inspire and drive you to shape your ambition. Mentors help you find yourself and suggest what step will get you there. A good mentor will decode the unwritten rules, demystify the way things work, and offer you tips on navigating the organization. But, despite their attention and guidance, neither mentors nor role models can give you real career traction.

What gives credit to sponsors is how they affect three things:

  • Pay raises
  • High-profile assignments
  • Promotions

Sponsorship is the mechanism by which people of vision obtain their goals, which is why no one make or female, millennial or boomer, start-up employee or multi-national manager– can afford to dismiss it or miss out on it.

What a sponsor does:

On top of delivering high-octane advocacy, a sponsor is a senior leader who, at a minimum:

  • Believes in you and go out on a limb on your behalf
  • Advocates for your next promotion
  • Provides “air cover” so you can take risks

And comes through on at least two of the following fronts:

  • Expands your perception of what you can do
  • Makes connections to senior leader
  • Promotes your visibility
  • Provides stretch opportunities
  • Gives advice on “presentation of self”
  • Makes connections to clients/customers
  • Gives honest/critical feedback on skill gaps

They will get you in front of directors to audition for a key role. They would also nudge the director to choose you. But their investments in you don’t stop there. They will coach you on your performance so that you prove to others what an excellent choice they made. They will make you the center of attention of everyone in the room, so that you can showcase your talents. Should the others turn against you, your sponsors will have your back, as their reputation is now linked with you, it is in their best interest to make sure you reach your goal.

It is recommended you know that the feedback provided from sponsors are not as kind as the ones from mentors. It is to steer you toward a targeted trajectory, when they discuss your strengths and weaknesses. They will point out, regardless on how you receive it, your shortcomings, failures and things that you need to work on.

You’re an extension of them, they have to keep you on track. Only by seeing you finish the line can they protect their own reputation.

What a protégé does:

What protégés do, in a word, is DELIVER.

They come through with both stellar performance and die-hard loyalty. Star performers are very likely to attract sponsors, and loyal performers are very likely to keep them.

Nevertheless, they need to distiguish themselves from the other, less they want to run the risk of becoming permanently second, lieutenants who never make captain.

To be at the top of the ladder, protégés must have the skillset that leaders reward for, but lack: gender smarts or cultural fluency on a team that lacks diversity; quantitative skills or technical savvy on a team that is deficient in hard expertise; people skills on a team, whatever you have.

A protégé is a high-potential employee who, at a minimum:

  • Outperforms – contributes 110%
  • Is loyal to the sponsor and organization
  • Contributes a distinct personal brand

And comes through on at least two of the following fronts:

  • Is trustworthy and discreet
  • Covers the sponsor’s back
  • Promotes his/her legacy
  • Brings “value added”- different perspective/ skill sets
  • Leads with a yes
  • Burnishes his/her brand across the organization
  • Builds an A team

In this sense, loyalty also means looking out for your sponsor as protectively as your sponsor looks out for you. Protégés can provide insights about what’s happening lower down in the or, because when you’re at a senior level, you’re less likely to get those messages about what people think of you and your strategy. They make sure you’re never blindsided. Just as your sponsor is whom who support you when you’re not in the room so you must you prefect him or her from employees’ gossip from harsh outsider opinion even from collegial criticism.

A loyal comrade-in-arms who, if your turn your back, guns for you, not at you.




1. Build the castle first:

Have a vision, a clear picture of your career destination. The majesty and beauty of this vision works wonders enhancing your performance. A vision is so powerful that people will work miracles to bring it to life.

Reaching a career goal is nothing easy. You need a vision that inspires you.

Design your own castle by considering the following questions:

  • What place would feel magical? What kind of room or space do you want to inhibit? What is the view when you look out the window?
  • Whom do you want to meet with? Who intrigues you or excites you? What sort of convo do you wish you could have with them?
  • What transformation do you most want to drive? What sort of large-scale change do you wish you could be part of?


  • Look for role models. Read about people whose achievement inspire you. Put them in your sight.
  • Envisage yourself at age fifty with twenty five productive years ahead of you . its never too lated to focus on a goal and go after it.
  • Consult with a mentor, role model, or personal development coach who can help you see the big picture. Brainstorm a professional target list. Write down your aspirations, however modest or fabulous and figure out how to hold yourself accountable.


2. Do A Diagnostic:

Catalog your skills.

Restrain yourself from catalogging the skills you don’t have. Be truthful, be real. It’s essential you answer the following questions:

  • What do you do exceptionally well?
  • What is your currency, what sets you apart?
  • What experiences distinguish you?
  • What inherent or acquired difference brand or value added that others may not bring to the table?
  • Or what accomplishment has given you joy ? What gives you satisfaction so you want to do more of it?
  • How does the mission or mandate or your organization overlap with your own values and goals?

With this self assessment, your mentor can help you with this. Classes, seminars or lectures are other good opportunities to hold a mirror to yourself or discover what you didn’t know what you abilities.

3. Scan the Horizon for Potential Sponsors

Once you spot your potential sponsor who qualifies with the points above. Share with him/her the long-range plan, sketch it out for him, and proposed a quid pro quo.

Don’t approach your sponsor with, ‘Oh, would you sponsor me,’ but more along the lines of, ‘if i turn down these options and do a great job for you on your project, would you commit to helping me?

4. Turbocharging Support Into Sponsorship

Some supporters, including mentors can be converted into effective sponsors. It’s a matter of taking an existing relationship and making it instrumental.

Start by identifying would-be sponsors among your supporters. Good bets will be leaders who:

  • Are already aware of your skills and strengths
  • Stand to benefit from your help and
  • Have the clout to move you toward your goal, what ever that may be. Consider who knows you and knows of your work, or has heard about you and your work.

Consider not whom you report to, but whom your boss reports to. In a large organization, look for someone two bandwidths away. Seize on some someone who’s go the principal’s ear but doesn’t stand between you and your goal.

What transform a supporter into an advocate relies on how you make yourself a good investment. It is on you to put your cards on the table and play them right. Spell out the mutual benefits, and not demands.


  • In choosing your target, put efficacy over affinity. Role models are great but they don’t always make effective sponsors. Don’t be put off by leadership styles.
  • Friends don’t make the best sponsors
  • The would-be sponsors ideally two levels above you, with line of sight into your performance and your career.


5. THE 1+2 RULE

You can’t hold one person responsible for you climbing the ladder. She or he might be spread too thin to give the protection you need. She might take a better offer elsewhere or get fired even. She might decide to quit and launch her own firm. In brief, she could be too caught up in her own business.

The solution is to cultivate more than one sponsor. You’re best served by having one or two sponsors outside the firm as well as in it, in the same industry.

The ideal recipe consists of 3 sponsors: 2 within your organization-1 in your line of sight and 1 in a different department or division and 1 outside your firm.

The “2+1 rule” holds true for every career stage. The strategy is to diversify your sponsor portfolio, which means your sponsors should be independent of one another, if one goes down, the others won’t go down with him or her.

The 2 + 1 rule ensures you’ll survive a direct hit to your department, a systemic threat to your division, even a catastrophic blow to your firm or industry. It ensures you’ll survive the loss of a prime sponsor.


  • Increase your internal visibility
    • Lead a network
    • Spearhead a project (a philanthropic project, cultural event or company sports team)
    • Ask for mentorship. Create a circle of mentors from different divisions or departments with whom you might consult on strategic shifts in your industry or career
    • Ask your boss to introduce you to his or her boss
  • Increase your external visibility
    • Join a nonprofit board relevant to your industry
    • Run for office in your professional association
    • Attend conference, figure out how to be a speaker
    • Create a personal board of directors or circle of mentors external to your company to get a bid picture insights
  • Figure the lever of power and work them
    • Timing is everything. Be proactive: as soon as you see the handwriting on the wall, mobilize your external as well as internal champions
    • Change firms if need be.

6. Understand That It’s Not All About You

You’re a blazing talent. You’re on everyone’s shortlist. You’ve got the sponsor and all system goes. But remember a sponsor put his or her reputation on the line when they vouch for you, therefore never fail to reciprocate. It requires you to acknowledge the pact with your sponsors.

It fundementally requires you to:

  • Communicate
    • Recognize when you need help and ask for it before you get in trouble
    • Update whats happening in your career, your wins and losses, triumphs and struggles, so that they can offer guidance or even intervention
  • Signal that you’ll be a contributor
    • Deliver outside your job description
    • Give whats needed without being asked. What is your sponsor working on? Whats near and dear to her heart that you can help make happen? What can you take off her plate? What info do you have that she needs?
  • Make small gesture. Commit random acts of everyday thoughtfulness.


7. Come Through On Two Obvious Fronts

What a protégé must do to win and keep the sponsors in your corner is to come through on two obvious fronts:


  • Delivering outstanding bottomline results
  • Hitting targets and deadlines
  • Displaying an impressive work ethic and availability
  • Exceed expectations
  • Able to recite – make sure your boss can cite – your accomplishments in terms of what your firm values. It may be the scale of projects you’re overseeing. It could be the number of clients you’ve won or retained. But know how they stack up against your peers. Evidence!
  • Get the word out about your success, let others talk about you by letting your peers colleagues know what you did. And also talk positively about your colleague, it’s all about reciprocating each other.


  • Demonstrate trustworthiness and discretion
  • Burnishing your sponsor’s legacy
  • Growing her sponsor’s legacy


8. Lean In and Lead With a Yes


Attitude is everything. Just say yes, hold back on sharing your reservations until you’re in a position to negotiate. Don’t ever lead with an explanation of why you’re not going to be able to step up to the plate. When the opportunity is gleaming on the table, show your eagerness to grab hold of that offer.

Say yes even if you know it’s a qualified NO.

You need to have the ‘go-getterness’, to outshine the other contenders. Though still, be selective about whom you say yes to: you can’t say yes to everybody or you’ll be spread too thin to ace any one assignment. All the while, also propose solutions rather than presenting problems, think through how you can make the opportunity work best for you. Lead with this solution when negotiating next steps.


10. Pitfalls And Trip Wires

Finally you’re home in your dream. You can see your destination, shimmering there on the horizon. You finally got the roadmap that you transport you there.

But the possible hazard that could come along with it are best not overlooked.

Three pitfalls to watch out for:


Getting to know each other well enough to establish trust demands regular one-on-one encounters, typically in person. Though these meetings can be intentionally professional, they can often be misunderstood or misleaded when they are between a senior male and a subordinate female. Because the possible sexual relationship, women perceive sponsorships with senior males are ultimately dangerous games. This also goes a long way in explaining why most men are likely to sponsor other men rather than women.

So the question is: WHAT COULD BE DONE? 

No silver bullet. Let’s acknowledge that sexual tension in the workplace is a problem that is not going to go away ever. There are no easy fixes.

  • It is crucial that you make yourself a safe bet:
    • Don’t have an illicit affair with a superior. If you do it you lose everything, everybody loses. You lose the job you have, the job you deserve. So will legacy and reputation that you’ve built.
    • Another critical pointer. Do not send mixed messages. Flirting is a no-no, sexually loaded jokes are off the table. Be aware of what your clothing, makeup, hair style, body language and communication style convey.
    • Meet your sponsor in public. On site meetings can work well for example coffee in a conference room or in lunch in the cafeteria. Alternatively, choose a restaurant well traffic by office personnel where you can take an opportunity to wave at people you know and make it clear you have nothing to hide. Make sure the venue isn’t the place you ever go on a date. And do not order alcohol. Ideally you want to routinize the time and place of your sponsor meeting because the regularity is what ensures nothing will appear irregular about you getting together with your sponsor one-on-one.
    • Be upfront about the personal or family commitments you have. Talk about your significant others, spouse, partner, fiancé or ongoing relationship. As well as your kids, nieces and nephews.
    • Introduced your spouse or significant other to your sponsor.
    • Be clear about what you want and where you’re going.
    • When the gossip mongers identify you as a leader’s favorite. Prove you earned singling out. Make the most of your opportunities. Come prepared to wow everyone with your contribution, work ethic and devotion to the mission. Make known the kind of work you’re putting in. OWN YOUR SPECIAL STATUS, don’t act as if you don’t deserve the special attention.
    • If you’re in a freefall, the best thing you can do is acknowledge that nothing can be done and leave. Don’t wait till your reputation is in tatters. Act while you still have goodwill to leverage. Before you lost credibility and self esteem.


  • Distrust is a self for filling prophecy. Some people believe that leaders at their company isn’t interested in people of color. This goes along way toward keeping the top of the house homogeneous.
  • The most promising professionals of color can overcome distrust-distrust of white leaders, distrust of minority leaders, and distrust of each other-to win and keep the advocacy they merit.

Here are the some proven tactics:

  • MASTER THE SOCIAL BANTER: establishing a personal connection can matter as much if not more than proving you’re a top performer when you’re trying to attract sponsors across a racial divide. They tend to trust people they know, even over people whose credentials are more stellar. Yet, it’s hard to get to know someone if you’re convinced you have little in common or you’re concerned that sharing your personal life will only serve to stress how different you are. The solution is to be knowledgeable and enthusiastic participant in the small talk that occurs in the conference room or at the water cooler in the five minutes before or after a meeting.
  • PICK UP A SPORT OR JOIN A TEAM: you don’t have to become a golfer, training for a marathon or taking up a yoga class, can all be incredible connection builders. You don’t have to be good, you just need to be willing to learn something and join in.
  • DARE TO ASK FOR HELP: maybe developing trust has to start from the protégé rather than the sponsor. For people of color, it may be about overcoming the fear of being judged for needing help.


  • Appearance
    • Look to up and coming leaders in your org for clues on the unwritten rules for appearance. There is no one executive look, one size doesn’t fit all. To crack the code at your office, take your cues from those in charge.
    • No matter how casual your dress code, look pulled together.
    • Look appropriate in your environment but authentic to yourself. Be true to your personality.
    • Win yourself a seat at the table then dare to stand out
  • Communication
    • Tone it down, remove emotions from the equation and you’re less likely to be shrill.
    • Overprepare: you’ll feel more in control if you’ve spent more than enough time preparing, which will in turn keep your voice in the right register and hold the attention of your audience.
    • Less can be more. You can’t afford to be a wallflower at meetings. But she cations against speaking up just to for the sake of it.
    • Get to the point.
    • Invoke your vertical: sit up straight
    • Polish your small talk: its best not work related, but about sports or current events.
  • Gravitas
    • When you know you’re right, stick to your guns. With any ideas given by you, don’t give up to fast.
    • Show teeth.
    • Assert your integrity.


With all the key takeaways, apply them accordingly and never give up on getting your dream job! If you’re here, you got what it takes to get there!


Be Obsessed or Be Average by Grant Cardone (lessons to take from)

Grant Cardone, the owner of 5 privately held companies with sales of $100 million a year, is one of the ten most influential CEOs in the world, a father of two girls and a contributing member of the society.


As a descendant of Italian immigrants, he was raised in a family of three children that was doing very well, where his dad had started up a little grocery store, then, an insurance company, but drastically the company didn’t pull off. As driven as a human being can be to complete the mission of supporting his family, and let them live happily, his dad never slacked off, started over and got himself a license as a stockbroker. His new career treated him exceptionally well, he successfully got his family in to the middle class.

But…it didn’t last long. Due to a serious heart condition, his father died at the age of forty-two when Grant was ten. With the money left, his mom had to make do with the little amount and stretch it out long and get all five kids into college.

As time went by, this big house had to be put on sale, from that time on, Grant’s teenage years took a dive. Though he was not grateful with what he had, though he wanted to get rich, and to never be worried about affording basic necessities again, he was obsessed with the wrong things. By the time, he graduated, Grant was addicted to drugs. His mom refused to meet him any longer, so he forced himself to go to rehabilitation treatment center. After the 29 days at the facility, while walking out the door exiting the center, he was greeted by his counselor who said to him,

“You’ll never make it. You are a defective person. You have an addictive personality. You have a disease you can never recover from. The most successful thing you can do with your life at this point is never to use drugs again.”

From that moment on, he never got back into drugs. He dedicated on putting 100% into re-bouncing his life to be a successful sales man. His self-esteem was returned and he was again OBSESSED, not with drugs, but with SUCCESS. This obsession with work had gotten to the point that his family was worried about his well being. People were disapproving his drive.

Despite what others say to him, he realized that obsession is gift.

The next time someone starts labelling your obsession an illness, tell them , “I’m not afflicted, I’m gifted.”

To have what you want in life, you must give yourself permission to throw yourself all in on your dreams. Make it clear to others that you are obsessed and that, though you would like their support, any expectations they may have of your staying where you are, settling for less than you  dream, being average will have to take a backseat.

The obsessed embrace that the fact that they and on they- are responsible for their success.

Success is about being great at many things.

You can have it all: health, wealth, family, love, recreation, spirituality, cominty and eime to enjoy it all.

Why settle for one color when you can have the rainbow?

To find your inner obsession freak, ask yourself these questions:

  • Secretly or publicly, have you always wanted to do unbelievable things?
  • Do you dream of doing something that will make the entire world stand up and take notice?
  • Have you considered what it would be like if you became a household name? Or wondered what it would be like to be famous?
  • Would you like your name to be synonymous with a breakthrough that changed the world for the better?
  • Would you love to walk into the crowded room and have everyone know your name?
  • Have you ever imagined what it would be like to fly in a private jet or own your own?

If you did answer yes to most of this, then, you have to read this summary and the book.

You deserve massive success so abundant it cant be disrupted , taken away, diminished, or stolen.

Those who suggest you should settle for less than your potential are doing so because  they are trying to make sense of a decision to settle for less in their own lives.

Prepare yourself: when you commit to this obsessed thing, you will be labeled an outlier, a freak, and a weirdo. Remind yourself you arent the problem. The problem is the we’ve living in.


The average set their goals and devote to just get by, they ignore their ability to thrive for true success.

The average fail to achieve real freedom, and will in time live a life of fear and constant worry.

You are the composite of the five people you spend the most time with. Look around: If the people you see aren’t screaming success, they are validating average.

No matter how much concern or love another person has for you, they don’t have your dreams. Those belong to youand they make you unique.

It makes no difference how much another person love or care for you, they don’t have your dream. Your dreams are yours and they make you unique.

Average people including your friends, family, employees and colleagues-will tell you things like:

  • Slow down
  • Life is to be enjoyed
  • Don’t work too much
  • Don’t work too hard
  • Take it wasy
  • Be grateful-someone else is owrse off than you
  • Life is short
  •  money isnt everthing
  • Bigger is better

Brainwashed by the wisdom of work-life balance, blending in, adapting, and fairness and equality for all, will do whatever they can to come up with reasons why you should give up your dream, and obsession.

Ask them if they can justify their obsession with comfort with being normal, having no purpose or drive?


In every of our waking hour, we are showered with distractions, lies, political agendas, crises, terror and false hopes, which are not only useless for contribution to our goals, but they make people believe that they are powerless in control their own destiny.


  • Scrolling social media for hours, and dazzled by the news with mindless content and negativity. With all these unnecessary distractions splashing on you 24/7, your chance of success is thin.
  • Taking advice from a quitter. Anyone who quit improving themselves, being short of their potential.


  • Break out of the average cycle.
  • Average is a failing formula and it works for no one.
  • Live above the average line.
  • Be all in and obsessed.

People who had proven that obsession works:

” I want to put a dent in the universe”~ Steve Jobs

“I have a dream….” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” ~ Gandhi 

” Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” ~ Bill Gates

“I am the greatest.” ~ Muhammad Ali

Obsession was their main drive. They go far beyond any average person in doing what it takes to make their dreams reality. Each of them created a legacy that will live on for centuries.

Their name inspires and will inspire hundreds of million of people to consider what it means to be great.

However, it takes more than desire to be great, it requires sweat, blood, tears, and put yourself on the edge on any chance that you get to.

There is no such thing as part-time obsession. “Sometimes obsessed” or “only obsessed on weekends” or “obsessed between the hours of 8:00 a.m and 5:00 p.m.” is a fantasy. You have to embrace this die-trying mentality.


Purpose is the holy grail of the obsessed. It is the reason for doing anything, the reason for existence. It is the fuel of your obsessions.

As soon as you find your purpose and distinguish the things that are worthy of obsessions, remember that you don’t need to love your job or even do what you are passionate about to get obsessed enough to be sucessful.


Ask yourself these questions and answer them with the first response that comes to you, and slowly you will notice that the same answer keeps coming up. You may find out that you have a dream that you never thought you’d still have it.

Personal Interest

  • What excites me now?
  • What is so exciting to me that I would do anything to accomplish it?
  • What bores me?
  • What is the thing things I have always wanted to do?
  • What don’t I want to do, no matter the payoff?
  • What do I do that causes me to forget to eat?
  • What have I been interested in since childhood?

Money Motivation

  • What am I willing to do for no money?
  • What would I like to do for a lot of money?
  • If money had nothing to do with my life, what would I do with my time?
  • What amount of money would give the security I need?
  • What amount of money would I need to have choice?
  • What amount of money would I need to have financial freedom?
  • What amount of money would I need to really make a difference for the better?

Skills and Talents

  • What can I do better than anyone?
  • What are some of my native skills?
  • What have I always been good at?
  • What have I always been bad at?
  • What skills or talents do I have that I ignore?
  • What am I terrible at and should not be doing at all?
  • What do I do that is a complete waste of my time and talent?
  • In what areas do others think more of my abilities than I do?
  • What are the skills I need to develop?

Market Research

  • What is a product or service that I have complained about repeatedly?
  • What great idea have I had for starting a company or inventing something that I havent followed through on?


  • What do I want to be remembered for?
  • What contributions can I make to society that I would be most proud of?
  • What do I want to make sure people never say about me?

Inspiring People

  • Who are five successful people I admire?
  • What are those people doing that I admire?
  • What do those I admire have in common with one another?
  • What quality do I wish I shared with those people?
  • What do I have in common with that list of people?
  • If I could meet anyone, who would it be?
  • Who is the most people supportive people in my life?


  • What makes me feel good?
  • What gives me energy?
  • What activity bores me and doesn’t make me feel good?
  • What things am I doing that I regret later?
  • What bad habits do I need to stop?
  • What good habits do I need to start?
  • What do I need to do more of that would make me feel better about myself?

What if….

  • If I were going to write a book, what would it be about? What inspiration lessons would I draw from my life?
  • If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I do?
  • If I could be known for one great thing, what would I want it to be?

You fill find out what makes your life complete. Stop your denial and self-belittle that are pulling you back from going forward. Allow yourself to get obsessed.

Feed the beast

What you pay attention to is what you get. The more attention you give to something, the more you feed it.

It is crucial you pay attention to the things and people who fuel and support your obsessions, and steer away from the things and people who don’t.

Don’t write your goals on a post it note and look at them once a while. Eat, sleep and breathe your goal.

Always stay focused on your goals, never lose yourself in the noise of your mind or whatever that’s happening in the world.

Wake up and go to sleep with your goal.

Starve the doubt

Doubt is your biggest threat and therefore, your biggest enemy.

As cliché as it sounds, nothing is impossible. You need to master your obsession into an energized momentum for the success you desire. Fill your obsession with the highest-octane stuff you can get your hands on.

I will judge myself less for coming up short than never going for it.

that is like the dreamkiller people are so filled with doubt They are unable to believe in themselves enough to become Obsessed with their own success Instead they let their fear Lead the way

Do not let fear lead your way, as it is the most dangerous form of terrorism on this planet.

If you are the most successful person in the room you are in the wrong room.

Haters and naysayers

If you expect yourself to be successful, then expect to encounter those who are going to be critical envious and worse, those who drive doubt.

The world is filled with people who have given up on their dreams and now spent their lives trying to get others to give up on theirs.

However, there is little to be concerned if critics are just people who envy you, but unfortunately they also include people who love and care for you. But do not forget that naysayers are protecting themselves from being pointed out that they gave in into living average lives. You doing something big will challenge their ego, and confidence.

They would not hesitate to overwhelm you with doubt and confusion to your already challenging goals, and it will your journey more struggling.

While the haters are hating. The obsessed are creating.

Steer clear of the doubters and stay on track. 

Massive success is the ultimate revenge to haters.

Dominate to win

Learn to control your thinking your actions and your choices it’s a bad idea to ignore your inventions your energy and your obsessions even worse to let them take your own their own course through domination intro up session starts with dominating yourself not others

Start by dominating yourself, not others, control your thoughts, your actions and your choices.

Avoiding feeling confused and overwhelmed with too many choices.

Set rules, limit, break down and analyze each area of your life so that you can fully dominate those that most matter to you. Turn them to vital fuel for your obsessions.

Stay Dangerous

Fear is an indication of what you should do, not what you shouldn’t do.

Do you obsessed life is about constantly moving in the direction of your fears and possibilities be up SAST with danger and discomfort commit yourself to this feeling of discomfort to see how committed you are to your success assess how dangerous you are the six exercise

Commit yourself to the feeling of discomfort to see how commited you are to your success.

Be a control freak

The only people do don’t like control are those who don’t have control or who misused it in the past.

A successful person is willing to overlook the authority to do the right thing and is more dangerous than the bad guys.

Control vs. Deadership

When it comes to leadership style, it doesn’t matter. What you want is control. What’s important is that things don’t go wrong.

Don’t care about the label, care about whether you have the power to determine, predict and influence results.

All true leaders are willing to take control. It takes guts to stand up and exert control over their environments, their people and their futures.

If you want to break out of the average, ASSUME CONTROL.

People who gave up on control have given control a bad name, and left it to be criticized.

The people who complain about control are the same people who refuse to exert control over their environment and then resent their environment.

Everyday you and I are given an opportunity to control our own environment.

So many shy away from taking charge, they prefer to sit in the backseat and tell you that you missed the turn when it’s too late.

Don’t wait for someone to give you control.

You don’t have to be given responsibility or promoted to a leadership position to exert control.

If you see an obvious problem and you’ve got a solution, its your responsibility to exert control, to step up and lead. Declare: “I got this”. As the old saying goes, its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Believing in everything you do, and you don’t, get trained until you have complete confidence and competence in whatever you do.


One of the great ingredients for success is persistence.

Here are some examples of people who persisted longer than anyone thought reasonable:

  • Walt Disney was turned down for financing 302 times. His first animation went bankrupt
  • Stephen king’s first book Carrie was rejected thirty times. He even threw the manuscript in the trash
  • Oprah winfrey was told she unfit for television
  • Fred Astaire was told during his first screen test, “cant act. Can’t sing. Slight bald”
  • Lady Gaga’s first record deal was dropped after just one month
  • How Schultz’s employer had no interest in his coffee idea and sold him the branch name “Starbucks”
  • Steven Spielberg was rejected from film school three times
  • Bill gates dropped out of Harvard and his fist company went no where
  • Henry ford’s first two car companies failed and left him broke
  • Mark Cuban failed as a carpenter, a waiter and a cook.

You don’t need to be comforted when things don’t turn out right. Sympathy is not what you need. Comfort doesn’t pay the bills. Because, as I’ve emphasized in other chapters, you are at your best when you’re outside your comfort zone, pushing yourself and pushing limits to make the impossible possible.

The super successful don’t just overcome their failures-they use them as fuel to persist.

The difference between success and failure is staying in the game when others are giving up.

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all–in which case you fail by default. ~ J.K. Rowling

Here are some ways to exercise your persistence muscle:

  • Complete every task, finish everything you start, and stop walking away from unfinished projects in your professional and personal life.
  • When you hit the wall, don’t focus on the obstacle. Look for creative ways to take another run at it.
  • Expect others to quit; while persistence begins and ends with you, be prepared for people around you quit and try to persuade you to do the same.
  • Use yesterday’s successes as fuel for persisting today. But don’t get stuck in them. Instead, stay interested in the next success and the one after that.
  • Stay busy generating interest or income or learning something–doing things that help you keep going– because a rolling stone gathers no moss.
  • Never settle, never be satisfied with your triumphs, and instead use them as fuel to move you further toward your full potential.

When all the average people would never continue, put one foot infront of the other and refuse to back down, knowing that when you quit, you will have to start over again. Those who are truly obsessed are willing to persist when it no longer makes sense.

Get it done, then get it right

Perfectionism is just a fancy word for not getting started.

Persist and one day you will perfect.

When clarifying what you should be obsessed with, the following should be true:

  1. It improves the outcome of your life and others’ life
  2. It moves you to reveal more of your potential

Some other great questions to ask:

  • Who am I doing this for
  • How many will benefit from this
  • Whats going to keep me fueled to do more?
  • What if anything were possible?
  • When I accomplish this, what is next
  • What am I doing that is not purpose driven?
  • What else am I capable of doing that I havent done
  • What have I always wanted to do that I have forgotten about
  • Are those around me on the same page?
  • Who is encouraging me to live a life of purpose?
  • Who is a good role model for what I am attempting?
  • Who around me is not living a life of purpose?
  • What can I do to help other achieve their purposes?

Don’t become complacent with our victories and keep our attention on our possibilities.

Obsession hacks

  • Reach up for new friends: whatever you have to do to make new friends and new connections, just make sure you are reaching up-not sideways and not down. Don’t just be friends with ta banker in your town-make sure you know the most successful banker in your town, and the most successful lawyer, the most successful insurance guy, the most successful businessperson, the politically connected. And then keep reaching up.
  • Leave your home and join new clubs. Get involved with charities and give to them at levels that make other take notice. And attend events where power collects.
  • Even vacations are an opportunities to grow yourself, your business, and your network. You need to be places where other obsessed people gather.
  • Mentor up: work with a coach or someone who can take you to another level. It cant hurt to have someone else pulling for you and rooting for you and yes, even pushing you. My mentors and coaches have been invaluable to me.
  • Shop outside your reach: allowing your mind to be blown and fuel your obsession
  • Invest in education
  • Paying attention to physical health
  • Be charitable: it isnt always about giving money, it also means giving your time, energy, intelligence and inspiration. Look for problems on this planet you help with and go help.

Now that you got all the ingredients to fuel and shield your obsessions from distorted and unjustified views of others, IT’S TIME to step up your obsession game! AVERAGE IS NOT OPTION!


The Art of Explanation by Lee LeFever (Lessons To Take From)

With years of experience in creating explanations for organization and educators, Lee Lefever has discovered that inviting people to care and be motivated to learn more about our ideas is a challenge.

With the mistakes and techniques that he learned from building his own company, stories of other people, and doing projects with high-end companies, he was able to accumulate strategies and advices that would lead us into better explainers.

Lee pointed out that we all take explanation for granted. Because it is a natural part of us growing up, while in fact it is a skill that we can definitely shape up as a tool for accomplishing our goals.

This article will be spoiling you with some of the juicy advices that you find in the book. But need not worry, this is a peek into the mystery of the book, there are so much more depth, so much more invaluable insights in the book that this post will never do it justice.

Great explainers have the ability to picture themselves in another person’s shoes and communicate from that perspective.

To create an excellent explanation requires us to imagine ourselves in the audience’s shoes. By seeing the world from their point of view, we help them feel at home. For example, tell direction to a foreign tourist.

Explanations Answer the Question “Why?”

As Lee said, explanation is not just a package of facts, but a presentation that tell us why they should care, why twitter is so popular, why it makes sense to save for retirement.

The idea behind the curse of knowledge is that when we know a subject very well, we have a difficult time imagining what is it like not to know it.

Assumption of just one person’s level of confidence in the subject being explained would not cause much of a bias. However, explaining to a group of people new information, you have no choice but to assume their level of knowledge in that subject. And more often than not, the mismatch to what they actually really know is every common.

For example, if you work in a financial field, then words such as amortization, depreciation and vesting would become part of your language, and pretty much the same to your colleagues. The words, the language, they have become part of your culture, and subconsciously, we start to lose touch with how they might be unfamiliar to others. Therefore, it would not be incredibly wise to use these words at family or friends reunions.

The need to appeal to experts also has the potential to make our explanations fail.

It is undenying productive to be inspired by experts, most of us idolize those professionals, and of course want them to see our work. However, by the need to look smart to those individuals, we ignore our ability to make everyone in the room feel smart, and that would unfortunately lead to explanation failure.

What makes an explanation so insidious is that it has the power to ruin the best, most productive, life changing ideas in just a few sentences.

A story of Andre, an IT graduate from Stanford University, involving him starting up a product with other competent engineers, who put effort and passion to overcome problems in the journey. However, a few months after the launch day, less and less people used his product. When he set out to find out why, he discovered that the marketing of the product had an explanation problem. And to solve the problem, they need a plan.

The “explanation scale”, a simple A-Z scale model created by Lee to help visualize the audience, account for their needs, and move them from misunderstanding to understanding via a carefully crafted explanation.

When encountering an explanation problem, ask yourself these questions:

  • Where are you on the scale regarding a specific idea?
  • Where is your audience?
  • What assumptions are making about their level of understanding?
  • Are your current explanations accounting for everyone on the scale?
  • Should they?

Stepping outside the bubble

Andre and his team are smart people. In his of explanation, he prefers to express himself in a vernacular way, showing his knowledge and intelligence. However, this style of conveyance only speaks directly and comprehensively to the experts, the people at the Z level of the explanation scale. Therefore, with all the technical words, shortcuts and acronyms in his message, it only makes sense to the people within the bubble of experts. Thus, he needs to step outside the bubble and imagine his users at the “A” end of the scale.

They need to control their urge to look smart and rather make targeted audience feel smart.

The solution to that problem– is packaging.

What goes into the packaging?

Essential elements for packaging ideas to account for the audiences’ needs:

  • Agreement— this builds up more confidence and connections with the audience. For example: “We can all agree that gas prices are rising.”
  • Context— transit to the points where you think why it matters to the audience. For instance, you can say ” More of your income is going to pay for the transportation.”
  • Story— narrate a person who took the chance and experience a change perspective and emotions. “Meet Sally; she’s tired of paying so much for gas and needs alternatives. Here’s what she found.”
  • Connections— connect the story with analogies that people already understand. “Sally could see that taking the bus is like multitasking because she can work and commute at the same time.”
  • Description–focuses on how versus why. “Sally found that she could save more than $20 a week by taking the bus three times weekly.”
  • Conclusion— wraps up and provides the next step with the focus on the audience. ” The next time gas prices get you down, remember…”


As important as ideas and facts, context plays a major role in explaining what those ideas and facts mean.

Whether it is explaining the topic of discussion to a friend, doing a presentation about your research, teaching something to a student, or presenting your new product, it is crucial that we build the context first before we jump into the details.

As Lee put it, ” To talk about the forest first and then about the trees”.

To dig down to the metaphor, here are 2 of Lee’s examples:

Example 1:

Imagine you arrive to your friends who are in deep conversations. And for a while, you gathered some information pieces such as Chelsea and Arsenal, and you thought they were talking about English Premier League Soccer. Then you other names such as Barcelona and Juventus, which then confused you and you can’t make sense out of it all.

And then your friend says “Oh, sorry, we’re talking about UEFA Champion League, which brings together the best teams of Europe. Specifically, we’re talking about the English teams and how they are doing in league play.”

Example 2:

Angela who has been very interested in business, she loved working with numbers and has great attention to details, which are the skills needed to be accountants. So she decided to attend an accounting workshop which picked up from an ad in her local newspaper. For an hour with the accounting instructor Mr. Tidwell, as he was pointing the tools and terms such as credits, debits, revenues, and expenses, Angela started to question her ability to be an accountant. She didn’t understand how that would apply in real life.

However, after meeting with a different teacher that her friend introduced, Ms. Stowe, who asked her to talk about her experience in business, about her previous jobs, explained to her well about how business runs. For an adequate amount of time with Ms. Stowe, she didn’t hear the work debit once. She was first taught about the basics, how the money flows in the business, how businesses make profit. As Angela has now learnt about the basics of business and why accounting is important for management of the business, she is more excited and can make sense of what the details.

Context in Explanation – We Can all Agree

Starting your explanation with declarative, non-controversial statements that everyone would agree on is not only a good way to engage the audience, but also a help in explaining the forest and enhancing the credibility of what about to come next. Here are a few examples:

“The web is becoming more social. Forrester research says that…”

“More applications are being moved to the cloud. Examples include…”

“Video is a growing form of communication on the Web. YouTube has grown by X amount.”

Context and Pain

The storytelling that depicts pain plays into human emotions, which therefore creates more understanding. The storyline goes with a character wants or needs something, and must endure pain to get it.


Meet Bob, he has a problem and feels pain

He discovers a solution and tries it

Now he feels happy

Don’t you want to feel like Bob?

Overall, in building a context, we have to do a good job in explain why? As in why should they care?


Storytelling is appropriate for every situation, however specific kinds of storytelling can make a difference in the understandability of an idea.

The goal is to of course- create an explanation people remember because it made them feel something.

Here is an example of explaining blogs in 2 different ways:

A blog is a personal journal published on the WWW consisting of discrete entries (“posts”) typically displayed in reverse chronological order so the most recent post appears first. Blogs are usually the work of a single individual, occasionally of a small group, and often are themed on a single subject. — Wikipedia, 2012


Meet Allison. She recently created a website where she posts information about her experiences raising a puppy. Her website is an online journal, or blog, where she posts a new entry that appears at the top of her page every few days. The stream of entries has enabled her to connect with dog lovers from around the world.

Stories, in the context of explanations, need facts. And facts can be explained much more effectively in the form of a story. By adding a person to a narrative, we make the facts more meaningful and interesting.

Personification and Story

You’d guess that stories are often a good fit for explanations where the main subject is related to human actions or experiences. To your surprise, that’s not necessarily the case. But how to we tell a story about the formation of a comet though? The answer is: personification.

Personification is applying human traits to objects. Utilizing personification can make complex ideas seem more human and real, by relating the idea in terms of emotion, desires, and needs.


Let’s say your uncle Jed just immerged from the wood after being lost for 30 years. He was not exposed to the modern technology, and therefore was curious about e-mails. Of course, e-mailing has become second nature to you, thus you would have work on putting yourself in uncle Jed’s shoes. Explaining to him the details of the email is exacting talking about the trees, hence you have to realize what Jed already knows. In this case, he is familiar with the traditional way for sending letters and mails with a physical mailbox via a postal service. This serves a perfect connection for your explanation to say that e-mails are essentially “letters via computers.”

Another example of explaining Netflix:

Few can afford to have a giant library of DVDs, so it makes sense to rent them. But your local movie rental store suffers from a lack of selection and inconvenience . You make a trip to the score to buy a DVD and found out that  your choices are sold out.

Building-on versus Establishing

Connections can be built on existing knowledge rather than trying to establish a completely new idea. As simple as it sounds, it is easily forgotten in the context of explanation. When we’re asked to explain something, we often approach it in a new idea perspectives, as we assume the idea is new to the audience.

Analogy, Metaphor and Simile

Using analogy, metaphor and simile can aide us in establishing a connection between two ideas, which is key in making ideas easy to understand.

One example of metaphor here, “My classroom is a zoo”, meaning my classroom is unruly and the members are wild.


On an explanation scale, someone at B might want to see the why of an idea then how. Yet someone at R, who already already understands the big picture of the big idea may need explanation that put more focus on the how. This individual would have more interest in the details and tactical information which is the tree.


A tech-savvy adult who was asked to explain what virtualization  means, from his perspective, it is next to impossible to explain it to a person with elementary knowledge about computers.

Explanations from experts would tend to be:

  • Accurate but incomprehensible
  • Detailed but ineffective
  • Filled with new words
  • Presented without context or application

However if you as an expert want to really help a person who is not expert to understand the concept, here are some advices:

  • Do not make assumptions about what people already know
  • Use the most basic language possible
  • Zoom out and try to see the subject form the broadest perspective possible
  • Forget the details and exceptions and focus on big ideas
  • Trade accuracy for understanding
  • Connect the basic ideas to ideas the audience already understands


Imagine you’re going into a tie shop to buy a tie, which something very simple. Then as you walk into the store, the incredible variety of colors, shapes, fabrics and patterns is just overwhelming. One might think that having every option available on the table would be liberating, which is misleading.

In this situation, you are faced with the “Paradox of Choice”, which prevents you from feeling happy with any choice.

Dealing with issue, an approach to this would be to limit your choices before you visit the shop. Lets say you chose a specific color, simple design, this will help you make the right decision with focus and confidence.

This would apply in the same manner for crafting explanations. Not every ideas and styles can fit into one explanation. You have to take some ideas behind the shed and murder them. Limiting your choices and eliminating others would serve to shape your explanation to move forward.

Here are the constraints that we consider in explaining an idea:

  • Timeline
  • Duration
  • Location
  • Format
  • Idea volume
  • Language (how technical are the audience)

Preparing for and Writing an Explanation

Writing is a logical step in the process of transforming an idea into something useful. The key to better explanation is having your script written down, where they can evolve before being presented.

Big ideas- with specific goals, focus on the title  of the explanation, look for potential to fill a gap, to create an explanation where none exist or where one exists in less usable forms.

Research and discovery – as important as packaging existing facts into new, more understandable forms, we also need to look at how they are communicated or explained in the past. Instead of explaining the idea that could mean differently to different people, it is more innovative and creative to think of it in terms of metaphor, and focus on why people should care.

Script writing – this is where the ideas come to life and take shape. It is a rule thumb to know your script limit. For example, you want your explanation to be 1 minute long, you would better be preparing a maximum of 150 words script.

Here is an overview of the elements of a basic script, in order:

  • Agreement
  • Context- problem/ pain and vision of solution
  • Story
  • Connection
  • Description
  • Realization of solution – how6yyy
  • Call to action


In giving reasons to support an idea or a plan, ask yourself why for each of the reason that you make that people should care about. Start out by making accurate, noncontroversial statements that everyone can agree on, then package the ideas in a way that appeals to the audience. Solution is to come up with stories unrelated to the idea, characters, metaphors, analogies, etc.


Ten lessons learned:

  • State your intentions early – by stating your intention early, by building context is essential for achieving your specific explanation goal.
  • Solve problems – work around the what the explanation lack, whether it’s the why  part or the how  part
  • Keep it short – people in this era are busy nowadays, therefore their attention spans short designed to only grab a handful of ideas
  • Reduce noise – we are too surrounded by noise in our lives which is the reason why most of the things we here are not too pronounced to grab our attention. Therefore, it is wise to explain in an environment or setting that is quite enough for people to focus their attention on our explanation.
  • Use visuals – many people can grab more through visuals. By combining visuals and audio, we can maximize our ability to effectively explain to the audience.
  • Embrace imperfection
  • Slow down
  • Be timeless – make your explanation as valuable in the future as it is today, don’t emphasize on temporary trends or brand in your explanation.
  • Be accessible – find a medium through which your materials are accessible to people.
  • Have fun! – be creative! You can use unexpected visuals, hand gestures, humor, or even sarcasms.


There’s a reason why there’s a lack of cooking shows on the radio. They exist but are few, because the medium is the best fit for the message. Cooking is best when it’s visual, or ever better, live. One of the keys to getting the most out of an explanation is being deliberate about the media in which you choose to present it.

Explanations, by definition, are meant for sharing. In isolation, they wither and die.

This chapter devoted to giving your explanations an opportunity to flourish and potentially, live forever.

In communication your ideas to others, you have multiple options at your disposal. To think through these options, it helps to group evaluate them in terms of pros and cons:

  • Media options
    • Text
    • Image/graphic
    • Audio
    • Video
    • Live demonstration
  • Presentation modes
    • Documents
    • Presentation/ slideshow
    • Website
    • Webinar
    • Video
    • Web-based presentation apps
  • Recording and distribution options – undoubted in a face-to-face method of explanation, the idea is communicated, the time has passed, there’s no going back in time to review the explanation again. Therefore, other than the audience presented, no one hears or know about the idea, unless,  the explanation was recorded in some way, be it documents, books, audio, or video, etc. that people can share for their friends and family.


Words don’t do the idea justice.

It is often overlooked how much a simple visual can capture a way to communicate a powerful and transformational idea.

Just a simple chart of two axis, and a curve representing the demand can be interpreted and applied to many different concepts.

To strategically explain an idea or solve a problem, we dissect the idea into 6 problem clusters, each represents a piece of a pie chart:

  • Who and what the problems- what is the problem and who does it affect
  • How much – measuring and counting
  • When problems – scheduling and timing of the challenge
  • Where – pointing out directions and how things fit together
  • How problems – shows how things influence one another
  • Why problems – see the big picture

For further detail, we can creatively add more visuals to each of the cluster, for example:

  • Who and what problems: create a portrait for each who could have the problem
  • How much problems: use a chart to represent goals and progress
  • When problems: use a timeline chart to display the each phase toward achieving the goal
  • Where problems – use a map to show how things connect together or work
  • How problems – use a flowchart with yes or no questions and instructions to help solve the problems
  • Why problems – use a multiple plot speculations of the outcome from different approaches

Mastering all the techniques provided above, you can make explanations more visible and interesting, whether it’s among colleagues, your family, or your friends. When you’re asked to explain something, see it as an opportunity to develop, evolve stories and connections that are more powerful than any answer you’ve given before.

Seize the opportunity! Seize the day!

Click here to go to Lee Lefever’s Common Craft‘s website.

The Summary of the Internet for People in a Hurry- Part 1

Do not expect a five-sentence summary.

This is the internet explained in the simplest explanation possible.

Note: We do not own any copyrights of these contents. The context is below is a research on the we. Refer below for sources.

Alright! No preamble, let’s get started!

What is the Internet?

  • Internet is a network that allows computers to talk to one another which pretty much works like postal services. Originated from the ARPAnet, created in the 1960s, for the purpose of researchers and scientists in different universities communicating with each other, and for military purposes.
  • To communicate with each other, every device need an IP address, short for Internet Protocol address, just like building and home addresses, IP addresses differentiate one device from the other.

And an IP address??

  • IP addresses are needed when using the internet, just like how we need to attach our home addresses, and the receivers’ home addresses, to the letters we’re about to send. IP addresses are numbers uniquely formed into a string of numbers like this:
    • ‘nnn.nnn.nn.nnn’ or
    •  ‘nnnn:nnnn:nnnn::nnnn’. or whatever
  • But when we want to access websites, we don’t look them up with their IP addresses, because obviously who does that? We normally look up the domain name of the sites we want to visit in our web browser, for example,, and the DNS servers would translate that into nnn.nnn.nn.nnn IP address and find it for us. Okay we’ll get to know the  types of IP addresses in a moment.

DNS server?

  • A DNS server can also be called a name server, nameserver, and domain name server. It is a house, of IP addresses and their FQDN, it is the translator between the two. Read more about DNS serverdns-and-how-it-works
  • FQDN stands for ‘Fully Qualified Domain Name‘, ‘qualified’ here basically means ‘specified’.  FQDN is written with the hostname, the domain name, and the top-level domain, separated by dots- [hostname].[domain].[top-level domain].
    • So for example in this FQDN:, “www” is the hostname, “tesla” is the domain name, and “com” is the top-level domain. or in this ‘’, then “mail” is the hostname, “google” is the domain, and “com” is the top-level domain.
    • See, we most of the time have provide the FQDN, not just the hostname, not just the domain name because otherwise the DNS server wouldn’t be able to find the exact location of it’s IP address with its system. Thus, the search engines such as google, bing, yahoo and so on, help us with that. We type in the domain name, or the content we want to search about in the search engines, and it in turns, provides us with the FQDN and we click on that.
    • But sometimes we can also use PQDN, which is just another acronym for ‘Partially Qualified Domain Name‘, its just a domain name that is not fully specified. It is used for convenience, but only for well-known websites, for example, we can just type ‘en‘, and the engine would assume it’s ““. Read more about FQDN and PQDN here
  • Malware & DNS Servers

    It is recommended to install an antivirus program as it shields your computer against malware that mostly causes trouble such as changing the DNS server settings. Under legitimate DNS/web server like Google, bing or Yahoo, accessing your bank’s URl would load the correct website and you can log in your account safely. But with a malware infected the corrupted server might direct you to a completely deceitful website, and you could incautiously give away your credentials to scammers, or a website full of advertisements that might trick you into buying fake programs.

    Although the malware can redirect our websites, we can also do that with our DNS servers with a feature called “OpenDNS”. The feature are usually used for maintaining how web is used, mostly in a good way, such as blocking adult websites, gambling websites, social media, etc.

Different types of IP addresses

IP addresses are used differently according to their types. There are private IP addresses, and public IP addresses.

1. Private IP addresses

Private IP addresses are used within your own private network, like the one you probably run at home, and it’s not connect to the outside world, which is the internet. These types of IP addresses are used to provide a way for your devices to communicate with your router (refer to the bottom of the page for explanation) and all the other devices in your private network such as your wireless printer, file server, etc.

Private IP addresses can be set manually, (which would get you static IP addresses) or assigned automatically by your router DHCP without overlapping one another (Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol), which would get you dynamic IP addresses. In most homes and small businesses, the router acts as the DHCP server.

In large networks, a single computer might act as the DHCP server. As your private IP address is only used with your router, it does not need to be unique, there are millions of devices out there having an IP address exactly the same like yours.

2. Public IP addresses

Public IP addresses are used on the “outside” of your network, and can’t be used in your private network and are assigned by your ISP using NAT (Network Address Translation).

NAT is a system used to convert private IP addresses into public addresses by keeping a table with its records, in order to send and receive data to the right devices. It allows the devices within the private network to use one unregistered public IP address with its “port number” to connect to the internet. The port number represent the specific device, apps or tabs in your web browser, etc.

The public IP address is the main address that your home or business network uses to communicate with the rest of the networked devices around the world (i.e. the internet), so the devices with the same network would be given ‘one’ public IP address. This acts like a firewall that protects your computers by hiding your personal IP addresses behind one public address. The Demonstration of IP addresses in Private and Public Network

What is a Router?

Other than issuing private IP addresses to different devices in the internal network, a router can also act as a form security to the devices from attack as it serves as a border between the private IP addresses and the public IP addresses. Most routers are manufactured by companies like Linksys, 3Com, Belkin, D-Link, Motorola, TRENDnet, and Cisco, but there are many others.

This is the end of “The Summary of the Internet for People in a Hurry-Part 1”. Thank you for reading. Stay tuned for part 2.



A Girl’s Letter to Her Missing Peace

It’s almost all the time that I feel this prickling tingling at the back of my neck, the intensifying goose bumps encompassing my whole body, the butterflies in my stomach, swarming conspiring with each other to take away my sanity for good.

It shakes up my sense, filling it with adrenaline, making a smoothie of nervousness that would win me over again as it always has for quite a while now. It gets on my nerves to just think about going out to just have fun, and enjoy life, I get tensed when actually going out, I get worried and feared of not being liked by others, even my own friends, I get annoyed by little things, I have too much emotionally-attached opinions, I get offended and discouraged by possibly anything.

My days are spent trying to fight this anxiety upon the cursed awareness of the acceleration of time passing by each day, the sound of the clock ticking, and changing colors of the sky. It is just too fast and overwhelming. The awareness of yourself aging every second that has pushed me once too often into this abyss of the paralysis of thoughts and actions, having me trapped and stuck in this figuratively zero-gravity space.

Eyes closed or not, you feel like you’re not attached to any items, to any particular thoughts,  just an abstract body floating in darkness, in whiteness, in peace, waiting for something, for her sense to come back maybe, for her beginning? for her restart? or maybe just maybe her damnation to come and end her. I do imagine it would be ultimately and comfortably relaxing if we can actually float like that.


My days are spent striving to hold on to a surface, to just grab a hold on to something, to have a solid thought, a purpose, a goal to just keep my mind calm, to keep progressing, to have some sense of security that I really need. The security of friends, the security of family, the security of not losing people, the security of good friends being good friends no matter what, how do we not lose people? How do love people forever? And how do people not change? How do families stay together? How do we not mess up like ever How?

Do some people have this kinda thoughts too? Do they feel it too? Is this why people smoke weed? Became alcoholic? Do self-inflicted harms?

“What is this? What are you trying to say? Can you try to make more sense? Are you out of your mind?”, these are how most people typical people are going to react to these kind of thoughts, this is how they would comfort us and take care of us, and will always be there for us, as they always claimed. In reality, who cares, except your psychiatrist because you’d have to pay him/her for it.


How Vulnerable are You to a Hacker?

In one of these days, each and every one of us, without a doubt have stumbled upon, at least once, an article or a video of a particular person, a business, a government site, a corporation being victims of data breaches from anonymous hackers either for good intention or vicious self-gain. Throughout the history there are countless breakout of these incidents, these criminal activities, and some of those are known and made available of the public eyes, but what about those that are not found out, those hackers who got away harming other people? Somehow that already crossed your mind about all of this things that’s happening in the world, or some might say this is obvious.

But it also crossed your mind, why does it matter? besides, you got nothing to hide, and the chance of you being targeted is nothing compared to a celebrity, or a politician. Well, my friend, you got everything to hide from a hacker.


1. Social media

The issue is that users of social networks, as uninformed as they may be, take this issue very lightly. Most, as vulnerable as they may be, take it with a grain of salt of how vulnerable they are to potential hackers out there. With the perks of being able to communicate and share general  or  personal going-ons to their friends and family to see, folks tend to undermine the importance and safety of their privacy. It’s not opinionated to say that some get recklessly negligent on their security like passwords for instance, not just ordinary people but also cyber security professionals.

rsa_report_17.jpgAnother of the things that are taken for granted most of time is how advanced technologies has become nowadays, and how untrustworthy they are. A certain lot of people are too generous, and too trusting on social media, for example conforming to log in their Facebook or email accounts on a game app to invite friends, giving in to completing random quizzes about your personal interests or opinions to just volunteer more information about themselves to unreliable websites.

It’s hard to break this to you but even statuses, pictures, locations and other voluntary information that you put out there can also be harmfully used against you.

People use Facebook to contact each other privately, whether to their family, friends, colleagues, and their bosses, and unless you are a very conservative person (as you should moderately be on the internet), it is natural that you have sent and received a lot of personal information, confidential and non-confidential stuff about yourself and others, and your opinion on things in your private messages. And imagine what could happen if someone gets hold of your accounts, not so private now, are they?

One case of a cyber-crime involved a hacker who used just Facebook status updates, pictures, and other personal details posted publicly to hack email accounts, and then posted embarrassing photos of the victims on Facebook, and most of the victims are females. Terrified yet?

Reported a while ago, 0.06% of the billions users of Facebook are hacked daily. Now that doesn’t sound like much right, but wake up! it’s 600,000 accounts being hacked ‘daily’. And the report was seven years ago, when technology and IT studies were undoubtedly advanced than now.

On top of that here’s a reminder of recent incidents…

87 million Facebook users affected by data breach

Beginning since 2014, Cambridge Analytica was found to have collected Facebook users information without their consent, for the purpose of influencing the US presidential election.

The company which was alleged to conspire with Donald Trump’s election team, has said to be compiled millions of US citizen’s data, to experiment their propaganda strategy and influence voters. According to Zuckerberg, the number of users affected has reach 87 million. Read more>>

However, it’s not only Facebook accounts that have hacked, reported in 2017, about six million Instagram accounts have been tragically uncovered on the internet

A bunch of hackers created a dark web forum selling data of personal information database of personal information, revealing private phone numbers and email addresses.

According Telegraph, “photo hacks soared after an incident of compromised photos of the singer Selena Gomez.

Claimed by the UK security research that hundreds of contact details of celebrities including Emma Watson, Taylor Swift and Harry Styles were found on the dark web.

There were even sales of personal data that could be accessed for a price of $10 per search.

2. Emails and Cloud storage hacks

The cases involving the hacks of social media accounts such as Facebook and Instagram are barely the tip of the iceberg. Regardless, those are less than a fraction of what they can do with the information they got from your social media accounts. Those vicous hackers with their vicious wit can ‘phish’ out bits and bits of details, and use those compiled details to get the gist of answers to security questions and answers or even passwords to your email account.

The ‘phished’ details might include birthdays (even if you don’t put it on your profile, they can still scroll through your wall posts or pictures, trust me, it’s easier than you think), your address, your mother’s name, the town you met your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse and so on. And it’s even worse if you put out your email that you use for your cloud storage, banks, credit cards and other important, financial related platforms, it’s so much less of a pain in the neck for those cyber criminals, you’re just basically asking for it. And if your social media profiles are an aquarium, your emails are the ocean! No, I’m not exaggerating!

iCloud Photos of Celebrities Hacked, 2014

Jennifer Lawrence

And as more people are increasingly using the cloud to keep their personal and confidential data. With the emails hacked they could get their hands on a lot of useful information for their own gain. And of course people with high profiles stand very high chance of being targeted by those culprits, as seen by what fell upon an Academy Award winner Jennifer Lawrence one day in 2014.

The famous actress had involuntarily became one of the several celebrities who had learned it the hard way that storing your nudes in Apple iCloud probably wasn’t the best idea. It was just a part of a huge leak of nude and nearly nude photographs of Rihanna, Kate Upton, Kaley Cuoco, Adrianne Curry, and almost three hundred other celebrities, most of them women, whose smart phone images had been accessed remotely. Just imagine one day, waking up in one summer morning having to face the ‘seemingly impossible’ incident of your nudes splashing around on the net, for everyone to see, including everyone you know, your friends, your family. It is the nightmare of every single human being.

Nonetheless, Apple, who barely ever provided any details on security issues, did not own the blame on their part. Instead, they claimed the breach was a “very targeted attack on user names, passwords, and security question” and added that “none of the cases we have investigated has resulted from any breach in any of Apple’s systems including iCloud or Find my iPhone.”

500 million Yahoo accounts were stolen

Nothing could be as catastrophic as an infiltration into a big company and seizes a billion passwords of users. Despite the fact that this large-scale is thankfully very hard to maneuver, it still happens.

Yahoo Voice hacked, 400,000 yahoo passwords leaked

Back in 2014, the biggest email hack  in the history of the world was revealed. Almost half a billion users of Yahoo accounts were compromised with unencrypted security questions and answers which are mostly link to other accounts as well as. Therefore, users were forced to change their passwords and basically everything else related to security on other networks.

LinkedIn Lost 167 Million Account Credentials in Data Breach in 2012


According to Fortune, 6.5 million encrypted passwords were seized by a Russian hacker, who goes by the name “Peace” was selling 117 email and password combinations on the dark web for bitcoins, which was about $2,300. Read more>>

Here are the top five other major data breaches:

1.  Adult Friend Finder

Impacted for than 412.2 million accounts. Datas included names, email addresses and passwords.

2. eBay

145 million users compromised. Names, addresses, dates of birth and encrypted passwords were exposed.

3. Equifax

Personal information (including Social Security Numbers, birth dates, addresses, and in some cases drivers’ license numbers) of 143 million consumers; 209,000 consumers also had their credit card data exposed.

4.  Heartland Payment Systems 

134 million credit cards exposed through SQL injection to install spyware on Heartland’s data systems.

 5. Target Stores 

Credit/debit card information and/or contact information of up to 110 million people compromised.

And the list goes on and on and on…..So the next time you’re about to post things on social media, send emails, setting passwords, or taking pictures, think about how much nuisance you stand to face, if shit happens.

See also:

The summary of internet for people in a hurry – Part 1

How to protect your credit/debit card

The summary of the dark web for people in a hurry

Advices from Kevin Mitnick




Why I Created This Site

Have you ever at some point, in the midst of any tasks you’re occupied with, stopped and asked yourself, with a frown on your face, WHY? what am I doing? why am I doing this? who am I doing this for? is this it? or does my life have a bigger purpose? a purpose that no one expected of you? a purpose to make an impact on this world? to help people? to them smile? laugh? Or do I exist to just curl up and disappear into a horrifying abyss of oblivion?! By far to this day, I’ve discovered, that if so, I would just be as useful to this world as a gender studies degree to a college graduate (Jokes intended, lol).

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘what are you doing for others?’ ” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

So on this day, at this hour, at this point, at the time I am writing this post (or have written this post as you are undeniably reading this at anytime in the future), after throwing myself into a pool of existential crisis and self-doubts, swimming through excuses after excuses, debates after debates, internally,  I have decided to break up with my invisible life for good. And just out of the blue, it dawns on me that life is not about waiting for the right time, or waiting to be ready, or worse yet! thinking you need more time, because TIME, time is the luxury we don’t have. It is rather about MAKING IT THE RIGHT TIME, MAKING YOURSELF READY, AND HELPING OTHERS IS HELPING YOURSELF, both mentally and spiritually. Dare to make change, dare to take the journey, not just for yourself, but also for the things that define you, for the people you love, for your friends and family, because for goodness sake, they need that spark of light too, whether it’s bright enough or not for them to see, they need it, the motivation, the hope, the inspiration to be something different, to know they can be anything if they want to, to be brave! At the end of the day, you are owner of your life, you only have your self to blame for the dreams that are killed, the hopes that are faded. So BOTTOM LINE: It’s now or never!

According to Denis Waitley, ” There are two primary choices in life: to accept the conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”